Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Hang in there

I see this more and more as time passes. I can now look back at times of utter despair and hopelessness in my life and realize that those times directed me to where I was  meant to be at this moment. So when you are being knocked around, whether it be in your professional life, relationships or you just don’t feel like you are the person you want to be, Hang In There. Where you are today is not a direct reflection of where you could be tomorrow. Relocation of yourself may take weeks, months or years, so hang in there during the shaking and rearranging of your world.

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This definitely doesn’t mean ACT without regard to possible dangers and repercussions. I believe it’s telling us to ACT in such a way that we are not looking for something in return or expecting a predetermined result from our actions. We set ourselves up for disappointment if we do otherwise.

Take our relationships and interactions with people for example. In some instances if you really examine where some of our problems start we’ll see that it starts with us and our unspoken EXPECTATIONS. For instance, let’s say you do something for someone, whatever it may be, and they don’t react or reciprocate in the way you expected, you now feel hurt, disappointed, shorted or angry. This is all happening while the recipient has no idea of your preconceived EXPECTATIONS that you had pertaining to this event or for them.

However, if we choose to ACT WITHOUT EXPECTATION in respects to our kinds acts for one another and truly do it unselfishly, we will never be disappointed because we did it without expecting any certain result from it. Whatever happens, happens. I’m going to try to make a concerted effort live my life free from the bondage of expectations. Come what may, whether it be something or nothing. The definition of surprise just so happens to be a completely unexpected occurrence. I guess we’ll be living a life full of surprises then 🙂

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appreciated

 

Finally after years of unappreciative takers I have found someone that epitomizes this quote. For a time there I thought my expectations were too high or unattainable because I always felt short ended. I was merely searching for someone who would reciprocate what I was dishing out. That’s not too much to ask right?? Like the whole golden rule deal, treat others as you would like to be treated. As I trudged my way through relationships full of compromise, arguments and tension I thought to myself this can’t be the way it has to be. Then I would would try to rationalize these sorry excuses for relationships to myself by saying, “no one is perfect, these sorts of things come with relationships”. This is not true people! There are over 7 billion humans on this planet, there must be at least one out there that you can seamlessly interact and communicate with all while respecting and appreciating each other in the utmost.

So don’t sell yourself short. Don’t enter a relationship where you have lowered your own bar of expectations. Don’t settle for less than what you deserve.

jealousy

I’m guilty

I try to step back and remember the days when our communication was predominantly done by phone (talking) or face to face. Compared to texting, liking, tweeting and browsing. But I haven’t quite determined if how we communicate today is all that bad. Because of these mediums I have come to chat and know a number of you, and without the internet it would not be possible. I’m thinking that it’s all about balance. Although, I do believe it would be healthier if your face to face communication outweighed your internet communication.

There is almost no other way I could get updates on dozens of my friends in a matter of minutes like I can on Facebook. It’s like a daily newspaper that includes stories, obituaries, photos, events and comics all created by my friends and family. Or take the blog feed here where I get to be a part of each one of your shares.

Since, my injury and having my driving privileges taken away I have had to lean on the internet to feed my desire of communication more times than not. I know it’s not the best thing, but sometimes it’s the only thing.

So, yes I’m Guilty of clicking, liking, and internet relationships, but is it really all that bad? Are we creating a touch-less emotionally sparse means of communication? Or are we reaching people and their minds and hearts that otherwise would not be possible? I know I’m enriched by a lot of what you all post, share and write.

This classic handwritten breakup letter is packed full of sarcastic undertone! Ha, love it. She sounds so loving and excited, and even included hearts. I can only imagine the sinking feeling he had as he read it and discovered that he had been discovered.

classic handwritten breakup letter

Be comfortable being you

I think we underestimate the power and need for us to be comfortable with ourselves. It not only benefits us, but it will also help us be better for those around us. This quote above explains it superbly.

I don’t know how many times I have found myself trying to concoct a relationship purely on the basis of loneliness and searching for happiness in someone else. I never realized that I was actually trying to make them an escape from myself. The less selfish and more solid foundation for a relationship would be one built on us already loving and being comfortable with ourselves first. This would allow us to give and not just take. I have always heard we must give in order to receive.

Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t taking away the job that we all have in being a support system to those we care for or that need us. What I’m saying here and/or warning against is the act of us basing our happiness in others. Because a good portion of the time we will be left disappointed by the unmet expectations that we have put in those around us. Being dependent on others for happiness makes us much more vulnerable and likely to be hurt.

Instead, let’s all try to be healthy and strong first that way we can give love first and receive it back as by product of what we gave.