The Bondage of Expectations

Posted: November 18, 2013 in Relationships & Life
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


This definitely doesn’t mean ACT without regard to possible dangers and repercussions. I believe it’s telling us to ACT in such a way that we are not looking for something in return or expecting a predetermined result from our actions. We set ourselves up for disappointment if we do otherwise.

Take our relationships and interactions with people for example. In some instances if you really examine where some of our problems start we’ll see that it starts with us and our unspoken EXPECTATIONS. For instance, let’s say you do something for someone, whatever it may be, and they don’t react or reciprocate in the way you expected, you now feel hurt, disappointed, shorted or angry. This is all happening while the recipient has no idea of your preconceived EXPECTATIONS that you had pertaining to this event or for them.

However, if we choose to ACT WITHOUT EXPECTATION in respects to our kinds acts for one another and truly do it unselfishly, we will never be disappointed because we did it without expecting any certain result from it. Whatever happens, happens. I’m going to try to make a concerted effort live my life free from the bondage of expectations. Come what may, whether it be something or nothing. The definition of surprise just so happens to be a completely unexpected occurrence. I guess we’ll be living a life full of surprises then 🙂

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  1. It is so hard to put actions and Expectations into compartments. Really if you think about it, all our actions are based off of self interest. That means that whatever we do, already has a predetermined outcome to it.

    I think it’s very hard to beat your own nature, and then beat other people attitude towards you – which is, most of the times on the lines of convincing you that you deserve to expect from them. I think that is how humans grow close to each other – by giving each other the impression that they have something to offer to the other person. Trust me, I don’t think expectations come just out of nowhere.

    • Rahburt says:

      Yes, that is quite true, we do act in our own favor 9 times out of 10. I’m sure even mother Teresa got some sort of gratification from her benevolence.

      And I believe most of my expectations are rooted in what I would or how I would react given the same circumstances or treatment that I dish out.

      I agree, It is a tall order to separate our actions and expectations. But what a serene state it would be if we could.

  2. Scribelife says:

    I couldn’t agree more, terrific message, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.,

  3. thenerdyscribe says:

    I found this post very interesting! 🙂 acts of kindness are usually very rewarding if you do them without expecting anything in return.

  4. you're just a dumbass says:

    Thanks for this insightful article, Rahburt! I agree with you wholeheartedly! Acting without expectation can reduce the amount of resentment one experiences in any relationship. Whether it’s your partner, boss, colleague, friend, or parent. The more we approach egolessness, we are able to live a more actualized version of ourselves.

  5. Rahburt says:

    Glad you liked :). I like how you put in terms of egolessness. I do however believe we all have a certain amount of responsibility to meet universal expectations like being honest and respectful to one another. But that is s difficult and left to debate because we all have different standards of right and wrong. There’s just no easy way to it when 2 or more are involved 😉

  6. BeWithUs says:

    A very insightful one, my friend! This is something that I am trying to achieve in life before I am being pushed into that incinerator (hopefully with a heart at peace)…

    Have a great day ahead, always~ Cheers!! 😀

  7. avoirunevie says:

    This is truly excellent … and quite compelling. Basically, these thoughts are at the heart of Dickens’ novel Great Expectations (which you probably knew) … a book I love and love to teach. You are just so right, Robert … if we act without putting all of these great expectations on ourselves and others, then our actions have a purity of cause (and effect?). Anway … this is a true corker, my friend. I love it.

    • robertmudge says:

      thank you sir :D. i’m sorry to say my non literature friendly behind is not familiar with this novel, ha. although i wish i was now. yes, exactly. i like how you put that, “a purity of cause”. we also save ourselves from ourselves, because we are sure to be disappointed when our excessive expectations aren’t met. really great to have you come by to read and relate to my words, it’s nice. i can hear your sincerity.

  8. That’s difficult to do sometimes, but I think very correct! 🙂 I can’t say I’ve spent my life so far doing things for people expecting something, or anything in return when it comes down to kindness. Kindness is what it is, you either do it, or you don’t. But when it comes to expectation in connection to something someone may have promised me and then they let me down, that’s a little more difficult to take. In my teens I pretty much found that intolerable. But age and experience of how disappointing life can be, has taught me to allow a small amount of expectation and not a truck load of it. It makes the down side a lot easier to take! 🙂

    Ten years ago I had a very different view of expectation. I have a Christian background and a lot of the churches that I was involved with at the time were encouraging ‘expectation’ in a very big way, saying that it was essential to faith and if you didn’t have have it you wouldn’t get what you were hoping for. My brother was part of a very big ministry near London in the 90’s and that was the main focus on everyone’s mind. Although it sounded logical, long term it didn’t seem to do anyone any good, including me and my family! Very rare did people get the results they were expecting and it all became bitterly disappointing end. I found good things did happen sometimes, amazing things, but never the ones you were waiting for! Often they turned out to be things you needed, but you didn’t know you needed them. Life is strange, and I don’t know if any of us will ever fully understand how it all really works. I have a very different spiritual view of life now, in fact sometimes I don’t know what to think in terms of what may or may not happen. I have plans, I try to my best to bring about those plans, but I’m open to other possibilities – and disappointments. Any other way of thinking has brought me a lot of emotional pain, and even resulted in some serious depression. So I couldn’t agree with you more Robert – very wise thinking! 🙂

    • robertmudge says:

      i have a problem with that too. i think there is a difference between expectations and another person just freaking doing what they said they would do, ha. i’m sorry that’s just how i feel about it. i believe our yes’ should be yes and our no’s should be no, meaning we do what we say we are going to do.

      ah yes i too have and still have a christian background and can see what you are saying. i never thought of it that way, but you’re right expectations are a huge part of it. our faith is founded on the expectation that “The Almighty” will provide and care for us. yes you are correct. a lot of the times we get the things we need and not necessarily the things we want. i can look back at my roughest times and be amazed now because in those times i saw no way out. i think you have a beautiful approach and perspective now. we will probably never truly figure out this thing out that we call life. like you said, we can have plans, hopes and dreams, but we also need to realize these very things have no guarantee and knowing this will help us navigate this life much less heartbreakingly. like i said to my above commentor, it’s always a pleasure to have you stop by and take the time to share :). you are becoming a staple here 😉

  9. BeWithUs says:

    Happy December, my dear nice friend!

    Your lovely blog has been nominated the ‘Blog Of 2013’ award.


    Your kind acceptance is much appreciated.

    Have a great day ahead, always~ Cheers!!

    • robertmudge says:

      Oh wow, what an honor!! Thank you much, cheeeers!! 😀

      • BeWithUs says:

        You’re welcome, my friend!

        Your lovely blog really deserves a mention so that hopefully more lovely souls out there will be getting motivated by your lovely posts!!

        Have a wonderful day ahead, always~ Cheers!! 😀

      • robertmudge says:

        a fantastic compliment! that’s all i can hope for, making a positive impact on a large number of people :). forgive my tardiness, cheers!

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