Be comfortable being you

I think we underestimate the power and need for us to be comfortable with ourselves. It not only benefits us, but it will also help us be better for those around us. This quote above explains it superbly.

I don’t know how many times I have found myself trying to concoct a relationship purely on the basis of loneliness and searching for happiness in someone else. I never realized that I was actually trying to make them an escape from myself. The less selfish and more solid foundation for a relationship would be one built on us already loving and being comfortable with ourselves first. This would allow us to give and not just take. I have always heard we must give in order to receive.

Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t taking away the job that we all have in being a support system to those we care for or that need us. What I’m saying here and/or warning against is the act of us basing our happiness in others. Because a good portion of the time we will be left disappointed by the unmet expectations that we have put in those around us. Being dependent on others for happiness makes us much more vulnerable and likely to be hurt.

Instead, let’s all try to be healthy and strong first that way we can give love first and receive it back as by product of what we gave.

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Comments
  1. shianwrites says:

    Easier said than done, buy very possible. I’ve done it before. I loved it most of the time, especially when my friends complained about their relationships. Great post.

  2. GrowlTigger says:

    Wise words. So many live a lifetime and never even think about this. As you said, not even realising that looking for love out of loneliness is looking for escape from yourself. It takes a while, and probably needs refreshing from time to time, but it is a place worth aiming for. It also tends to inspire change too, change for the better.

    • Rahburt says:

      Thank you. I am by no means perfect at this. It’s just something I’ve noticed I have done in the past and currently and I’m trying to improve upon. It becomes super unfair for the other person because you are asking them to be responsible for your happiness and we all know it’s a full time job just to keep ourselves happy as it is. Always appreciate your feedback.

  3. Before I made the decision to move out on my own from my ex, I was battling with the thought of being alone. But I wanted to do it – just to see if I could. The first two months were horrific, but I realized that it has shown me a sense of freedom I didn’t have before, and I love it. It’s been over a year now and I do miss having human contact though of the intimate kind – hugs, kisses, sex, etc. But it will come eventually.

    A relationship works best when two sufficiently independent people come together. There is no neediness, or feelings bred of the parasitic kind. It’s the only way I believe a relationship can truly survive. Being happy with oneself, you are able to share that happiness with your significant other in an uplifting way instead of dragging them down because you need them to make you happy.

    Good post for reflection.

    • Rahburt says:

      i thinks it speaks highly of you that you were willing to do such a thing despite your fears of being alone. a lot of the times the things we fear the most actually allows us to grow the most afterwards. and yes, i hear you on the human contact bit and that’s 1 more thing i have to battle and not let it throw me into something purely for the physical.

      agree 100%. yes, i just commented below stating how difficult it is to maintain a happy disposition ourselves, much less be held responsible for someone else’s also. it can be exhausting. but in the end i do believe you want/need to find someone who cares about your happiness though. i think that comes natural when you love someone. it makes me happy making them happy.

      glad you liked. i always enjoy your comments ^_^

  4. Tutti says:

    Great post Robert, that is very deep truth, few people like to hear, wraped in good and friendly and words!

  5. collynblake says:

    Wow- I think I am finally starting to learn this concept. Too many times I’ve been the Julia Roberts in Run A WAy Bride, fitting into the best mold I could for the good of the relationship vs. being me and learning who I was without someone else. It’s a journey, but we will get there 🙂 thank you for sharing!

    • Rahburt says:

      thank you for visiting and for all the likes!! yes, i have had to learn this lesson myself. it took many years and many compromised relationships to figure it out.

  6. atrandom37 says:

    Spot on, my dear!

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